Earlier I wrote about how the phenomenon of Boys Who Can Shave (BWCS). Boys in our culture are not getting put through rights of passage and thus they are uncertain of their manhood because it is not well defined. Thus they define their manhood by what the consume instead of what they produce, creating dead weight that no woman should love.
This brings us to our second problem. Women in our society need to be stronger. (wait! put down your man-hating battle axes!) Women in our society need to be stronger to challenge their men to be real men! I’m all for equality and women working, (unfortunately our economy has left few women with the choice to stay at home) but not as the primary supporter of the home. Men are meant to produce and if the women in their lives do not push them to produce then they are also failing.
The problem of this cycle is that these boys trying to become men also damage women in the process. By focusing on how many women they can conquer, men devalue women as objects of physical beauty. While a man should appreciate the beauty of a woman (and they ARE beautiful!!) he should also seek to know her soul.
This is another place where men fail to produce. We are too afraid of rejection to muster up the balls to actually seek a woman’s heart. (This is a place where I am stepping on my own toes as well!) We need to be Men who are not too afraid of rejection to be able to seek a woman’s heart.
In seeking only a woman’s body, men tell women that their value is only in their looks. Between men telling women this their whole lives and the media telling women they aren’t thin enough, women finally start to believe that they are worthless without a man by their side. Thus women allow their boys to be boys, in fear of losing that which gives them value, instead of challenging them to be the men they are supposed to be.
So how is this solved? Just reverse the problem. Simple in design, and complex in reality. Men need to go through a right of passage (bigger than a driver’s license test) to be told that they are men ONLY when they can produce. When they value women for people, follow a career path, create a family and then produce for that family, then and only then are they men.
When that happens, Women will be elevated to their proper place in life. They have the most important part of all! I would not devalue women by saying they do not belong in the workplace (I know MANY women who are much smarter and better workers than I am!), but I also believe that they have the responsibility to expect more out of their husbands, boyfriends and sons.
As a caveat to the end of this rampage on our societal structures, I would like to point out that I am not a man by these expectations. I am not married, I am not a father, I am not finished with my education, and I have not left my father’s household. However, I AM working towards that end and I look forward to that day. I am searching for the woman whose heart I would like to seek (not haphazardly), I am completing my education with a purpose and a drive for a career, I am seeking the career I have chosen and have begun candidacy for my eventual career, and I am NOT having sex with anyone outside of marriage as I am expectantly waiting until it is proper to begin a family (the real value of sex!).
Maybe, starting with myself, we can change the face of America’s men so that they can stop being Boys Who Can Shave, and become Men Who Can Provide.
